Principle political standpoints in Al-Absurdistan

The United Nations is a puppet in the hands of the United States and its job is to clean up the mess created by super powers. The UNSC resolution 1368 gave the US and Nato a killing license in Al-Afghanistan; and the Indians are using the soil of Afghanistan to encircle Al-Absurdistan. But … Al-Absurdistan wants to resolve the Kashmir issue according to the UNSC resolution 47 of the United Nations. We shall protest against the killings of the Rohingya Muslims of Burma and call OIC to take notices of injustice to Rohingya Muslims, Palestinians, Chechens, Kashmiris, Afghans and Uighurs. But … condemning the killing of Shias in Al-Absurdistan is projecting a negative image of Al-Absurdistan. Al-Absurdistan believes in the right of self-determination for Kashmiris in India and their right to govern themselves by the plebiscite under the UN resolution. But … when Bengalis wanted self-determination to break up with Al-Absurdistan, they were agents of India. And now Balochistan, demanding separation from Al-Absurdistan, is obviously the agent of India. When Christians were living in the Dark Ages, Muslims progressed in all fields of Science. The Western world learned everything from Muslim scientists, scholars and inventors. The word Chemistry is derived from the Arabic word ‘Chemia’, But … Western education taught in Al-Absurdistan is a conspiracy against Muslims, being used to enslave the children of Al-Absurdistan. The last time America came to Afghanistan to help our jihadi boys to defeat Russia, we wanted her to stay and keep sending dollars, arms and visas to jihadis. Americans betrayed Al-Absurdistan and ran away from Afghanistan leaving us in a lurch. This time the Americans want to stay and keep their bases in Afghanistan. But … this time we don’t want them to stay. Christians during the Dark Ages burnt coffee beans and attacked coffee shops in Paris as coffee was considered a Muslim drink and they thought that Christians were being enslaved by Islamic education. They burnt the books of Ibn Rushd and Arabic was banned in universities. But … we want to ban their language and cola drinks because, you guessed it, they are enslaving Muslims. NGOs that receive foreign aid from Western countries (who fund human rights, child education, women rights), bring a Western agenda into Al-Absurdistan. But … NGOs that take foreign aid from Eastern countries (who fund sectarian and jihadi outfits) does not bring a Eastern agenda into Al-Absurdistan. Communist Russians are atheist who are against Islam and are trying to reach warm waters. They were defeated in Afghanistan. But … China is our eternal friend and we built Gwader with their help to provide access to warm waters. European tourists who come to Al-Absurdistan shall wear shalwar kameez, should not drink or kiss in public as that would hurt the sensibilities of Al-Absurdistanis. But … a ban on the veil in Europe is against human rights and symbolic of Islamophobia in the West. For the last 65 year, 3 lac Muslims go to Hajj annually, 2 million attend the Raiwind congregation every year, 35 thousand madrassahs impart religious education to thousands of students. Mosques, television, Friday prayer, milads, and our school textbooks all speak of the teachings of Islam to our students. But … the current mess in Al-Absurdistan is because we have left the teachings of Islam. The presidential immunity is against Islam, because all are equal in Islam and the rulers are answerable to all. But … the Contempt of Court law is against the constitution. Al-Absurdistan was created in the name of Islam and according to the Objective Resolution, all laws contrary to Islam can not be implemented. It’s the duty of public office holders to implement the Islamic law and punishments in Al-Absurdistan. But … since Jihad is a private matter, it can not be left to an un-Islamic government to declare it.